Urban Dictionary vs. Webster 6

Llamas - animals who will rule the world one day. If you do not worship these animals, they will feed you to their babies during the End of the World. But otherwise they are known to be the most awesome animals in the world.
Did you mean: llama
One time, I saw these llamas and I thought they wanted to dance, but then an evil squirrel came up to me and bit my leg; so now I have rabies.


Llamacorn - the offspring of a llama and a unicorn
Did you mean: longicorn, laundryman, lawmaker, limacon
Look at that llamacorn running down the freeway!


Llamagoose - is the ultimate level of hyper-activity where you are so full of energy that you are naturally entertaining and hilarious. It's the last level on the hyperness continuum.
Did you mean: llama, goose
That dude is so freaking wired right now. He's a crazy llamagoose!


Llamannihilated - to have been attacked, beaten, or assaulted by a llama
Did you mean: laminated
Poor Vicki. She was llamannihilated at the zoo last week.


Llamapology - a gift of a llama as an apology for a previously committed act. The ideal llamapology is very poofy and soft.
Did you mean: llama, apology,
After taking a poop on her lawn, Rachel gave a llamapology to our neighbor.

Urban Dictionary vs. Webster 5

I present an extra special edition of Urban Dictionary vs. Webster, where I try to decipher the nonsensical babble that spills out of a certain individual's mouth on a daily basis. I've also thrown in several other phrases that come to mine when I think of said individual.

Anywho - An extremely annoying misuse of the word "anyhow." Generally used by people who think they are being clever.
Did you mean: anyway, Norway, narwhal, enwheel, Narew, unaware, angry, nary
Anywho, I went for a walk yesterday.


I got jokes. - A phrase that someone uses to express disillusionment, dismay, disenchantment, disapproval, or disappointment regarding another person's joke. The individual using the phrase is attempting to be detrimental at the expense of the other person.
Did you mean: No where near anything in Webster's Dictionary.
(After being severely embarrassed)...Yea! Well I got jokes too!


Blast - To put somebody's business out or shame them badly in front of a group of three or more people.
Did you mean: blast
I heard Lamar's ex put him on blast at the mall!"


Retarded Monkey Fuck - Someone who constantly repeats the same lame joke they've already told you 3,000 times before, expecting that the 3,001th time you're bound to laugh.
Did you mean: monkeypod, monkfish
RETARDED MONKEY FUCK: Hey, what's brown and sticky?
OTHER GUY: I don't know, jackass. Why don't you tell me?
RETARDED MONKEY FUCK: A stick! Haha!
OTHER GUY: I'm so glad I have zoloft...


Ass Knocker - a complete jackass
Did you mean: snooker
My brother is such an ass knocker.


Tag Dicking - The term used when a person denies to part-take in an activity unless another person does the same activity as well.
Did you mean: Du Cange, daikn, dating, tackling, goding, diaconal, decking, ducking
Stop tag dicking and just come to the movie without him!

Urban Dictionary vs. Webster 3

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Urban Dictionary vs. Webster 2

Rim Job - an instance in which the tongue is rubbed in a circular motion around someone else's sphincter.
Did you mean: Ormoc Bay
Steve's getting married next week. He better get all the rim jobs he can now!


Clam Chowder - after a long night of fuck-making sometimes the female may sit on the toilet the next morning and discover an oozing discharge of sperm and other fluids from her vagina; the texture, smell, and taste is similiar to that of chunky clam chowder.
Did you mean: New England Clam Chowder
Becky totally railed four guys last night, and this morning it looked like a cauldron bubbling over full of clam chowder!!!!


Homoblivious - the state of being unaware of another person's overt homosexuality; a lack of gaydar
Did you mean: homocercal; homocysteine; homogametic; homogamy; homoerotic
He was so homoblivous that he didn't know that guy was coming on to him.


Ass Goblin - a small gremlin-like creature who lives in your ass and comes out every half moon to eat crackers, sometimes watching TV and hogging the remote
Did you mean: East Point
Scientists suspected an ass goblin killed the dinosaurs.


Alabama Hot Pocket - the art of separating the vagina lips and taking a shit inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards)
Did you mean: hot potato; hotchpotch; hotchpot; hokeypokey
Shayna decided her vagina needed some lube so her boyfriend performed an Alabama hot pocket.


Hasbian - a former lesbian who is now in a heterosexual relationship.
Did you mean: has-been; Sabin; Sabine; sabayon; Sabana; Sibuyan; Hispano; Ispahan; Hispania; Saipan; husband; Sabellian; Spain; subline; Espana; sibling; slubbing; sea pen; subhuman; sapling
For a period of six years she lived as a lesbian and had several relationships, now she is simply a Hasbian.


Heteroflexible - a person who identifies themselves as primarily heterosexual but can find the same sex sexually appealing.
Did you mean: hetero; heteroatom; heterocercal; heterochromatin; heteroclite; heterocyclic; heterocyst; heterodox; heterodoxy
Jake swears that most of his fraternity brothers are heteroflexible once they've chilled with a few beers.

The Jersey Shore

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm a huge fan of The Jersey Shore. There is something about watching a houseful of drunken morons make themselves look like a bunch of drunken idiots on national television. The show encompasses a certain aura that draws the viewer in, turns their brain into swiss cheese, and forces them to watch an entire sixty minutes of incoherency. As a well educated person, my brain constantly goes into overdrive as I try to make out the meaning of half of the words that spew out of mouths of my new drunken moron friends.

After doing some research on Urban Dictionary, I can now safely watch the show without having a mind-fuck of confusion. With my newfound knowledge of grenades, landmines, gorillas, juiceheads, and meatheads, I can present my newfound knowledge to you. I now present the second installment of Urban Dictionary vs. Webster (The Jersey Shore Edition).

Gorilla - An extremely muscular/buff person, also referred to as "juicehead"

Webster - a very large typically black-colored anthropoid ape (Gorilla gorilla) of equatorial Africa that has stocky body with broad shoulders and long arms and is less erect and has smaller ears than the chimpanzee

Man you should have come to the beach today, there were gorillas everywhere!

Juicehead - A heavy drinker of alcoholic beverages

Webster - Alcoholic

I woulda married that jazz cat, but he was too much of a juicehead.

Grenade - The solitary ugly girl always found with a group of hotties. If the grenade doesn't get any action, then neither does anyone else.

Webster - A small missile that contains an explosive or a chemical agent (as tear gas, a flame producer, or a smoke producer) and that is thrown by hand or projected (as by a rifle or special launcher)

Come on man, take one for the team and jump the grenade.

Landmine - A skinny ugly chick.

Webster - A mine usually placed just below the surface of the ground and designed to be exploded usually by the weight of vehicles or troops passing over it.

Ronnie just hooked up with a landmine, then he did a grenade.

Meatheads - People that have absolutely no lives that lift and eat protein all day. And because they lift they think they are tough but they cannot fight for shit, they can barely move their arms. 

Webster - A stupid or bungling person

Yo did you see those meatballs those kids think they're so tough.

Urban Dictinary vs. Webster 1

What better way than to spend an evening, than to enter random words and phrases into Webster's Dictionary while Rachel realizes that she's working every holiday again this year. What the fuck people! Another year of dividing and conquering as we embark on another journey trying to squeeze visits with both families in half the amount of time. Don't worry though, she's off Groundhog Day, Abraham's Birthday, Cinco De Mayo (if she doesn't switch off for her birthday) and my personal favorite, the Chinese New Year's Eve. we are so skipping the Christmas tree this year and replacing it with one of those giant dragons.

Obviously, most of the words I searched for do not appear in the dictionary. Perhaps I should reevaluate my resolutions and make my new goal to add words to the dictionary. How do you go about doing so?

Anyway, enough of the tangent more of the goods. I entered each of the following words into the search engine and Webster attempted to help me find a better spelling suggestion. Since Webster obviously failed me, I decided to find the definition using Urban Dictionary, a place where you can find the proper definition to ass clown or needle dick.

Ass Clown - one, who, through no fault of his parents conception, is a skid mark in society's collective underwear.

Did you mean: scallion, scullion, Ashqelon, ash can, slowdown, set down

The looser calling my tech support hotline is a real ass clown.

Fuck Tart - The solid state of vaginal excretions that are expelled during a queef.

Did you mean: folk art, futurity, factorage, filtrate, facture, factory, Fugard, factorial, fucker, factor, flatcar, futuro, aftercare

I asked for a toaster strudel and she gave me a fuck tart.

Text-hole - Someone who texts on their cellphone in really inappropriate places, like movie theatres, conerts, plays or during sex.

Did you mean: textile, textual, Tuxtla, texte, totalize, The Delta

We were humping away, and she started texting her friend. She was a certified text-hole.

Dog Face Gremlin - A really ugly girl you pick up at a bar when you are in a slump and just want some ass.

Did you mean: They couldn't fix this word. Silly Webster. I think you got egg on your face.

Steve and James got shitfaced at the bar last night and slump busted with a couple of dog faced gremlins.

Sausage Fingers - A person with short, chubby, fat fingers.

Did you mean: Webster failed me again on this one.

That chick over there's got some big sausage fingers. 

Chub Rub - When the skin between a fat person's thighs rubs together while walking causing a mild irritation between their legs.

Did you mean: Cuba libre, clubroot, colubrid, cupboard, clubber

I thought that chicken head had some cooties but it was a mad case of chub rub.

Stinky Dick - To have sex with two different girls without washing, usually without the second one knowing.

Did you mean: sitting duck

I'm not sure she would have blown me if she'd known I had stinky dick.

On a personal note, Momma Dukes loves calling Dave "Stinky Dick." For the past few years, that's the only name she has referred to him by. Perhaps, all these years she has been giving me subliminal messages that my father was a cheater...