Status: Gym, Laundry...and if I ever add tanning to that, I give you the go ahead to staple my balls to my forehead.
Comment: That is exactly what I would do if you added tanning.
Comment: Mom, we have an unspoken rule that when I talk about my genital on the internet, you don't comment.
Comment: I changed your diapers, I can say anything I want.
Status: Felt like a narcoleptic all afternoon. I think I'll have to start just taking a short nap after classes instead of trying to fight it.
Comment: umm???? Narcoleptic??? What is that?
Comment: Someone who doesn't eat cheese.
Comment: but then that doesn't make sense with what he said. He said he was going to take naps after school. So wouldn't that mean he feels sleep deprived?? I'm so confused.
Comment: Cheese actually has a stimulating effect that you don't notice until you quit eating it.
Comment: Hence, he feels like he hasn't been eating enough cheese.
Comment: I GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so cool. I didn't know that! Guess I learn something new almost everyday. :-)
Status: On lunch...so don't wanna go back. Wah. Why do I have to be a grown up!
Comment: Cuz only grown ups get to wear big girl panties...and we all know what happens when you wear those.
Comment: What about those of us that don't wear panties...Can we go home early?
Comment: If I wear granny panties can I retire?
Comment: Hmmm...if I wear boy shorts, do I get paid more for the same work?
Status: The power grid next to Norton exploded and power was down all over campus. I was sure that the cyborg assassins had decided to come after me, but they were nowhere to be found.
Comment: better watch for dark corners lol
Comment: You see, I was really a cyborg assassin sent from the future to kill all humans, but then I learned your ways and decided I would stay here. When my comrades appeared last night, I tricked them into believing that humans operated under one supreme being and by killing that person, all other humans would die. Long story short, you're safe, but I wouldn't want be Justin Bieber right now...
Comment: That was one of the most epic responses ever.
Status: ALERT - Tomorrow, Facebook will change its privacy settings to allow zombies to come into your house while you sleep and stick their fingers up your nose and eat your brains. To stop this from happening, go to Account>Home Invasion Settings>Cannibalism>Brains, and unclick the "Tasty" box. Please repost. Good luck.
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