Status: There are things in this world no book and no amount of teaching can teach you. you just got to learn them on your own.
Comment: Like how to adjust when your pee stream goes to the side rather than straight, which is where you were aiming, and now the toilet paper roll is soaked; and you're at someone else's house, so you have to pull at the pee-soaked paper off the roll and put it in this tiny little trash can; and it's obvious because of the bunch of TP in the little can that something HORRIBLY went wrong while you were in there.
Comment: no, not like that at all.
Comment: wtf
Comment: I am laughing tears out right now! XD
Status: If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever - Winnie the Pooh
Comment: Omg I love winnie the pooh he is my most favorite disney character I'm gunna get a tatty of him soon.
Comment: don't do that. Statistically most people with recognizable cartoon character tattoos live in trailer parks, are overweight, and publicly abuse their kids in the local walmart. Just google "winnie the pooh tattoos" or "tweety bird tattoos" and see what pops up. You don't want to be lumped in with those people. You're better than that. I can tell, because you can read.
Comment: On second thought, you did say "tatty"
Comment: Ok...What's wrong with winnie the pooh tatty
Comment: Everything
Comment: I love winnie...He is my fav...
Comment: Yeah, never mind. I think that tattoo would be perfect for you, actually. Just make sure you wear a faded grey Looney Toons shirt when you take your mullet-sporting kids to the Trailer Park's annual back yard wrestling tournament!
Status: Ghandi, as you probably know, walked barefoot most of the time...therefore leading to the gnarly calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, making him rather frail which probably caused his bad breath. This, in result, led him to be super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Ha!
Comment: I heard Mary Poppins moved to LA to research the cosmetic properties of underwater plant life when grown in little skin pods on someone's feet while studying the types of natural minerals on may find in a can of Campbells Chicken Noodle Parmesan...They now call her Soup-ore California lipstick expert algae-toe cysts. I win, because that was original.
Status: has caught a cold hoping its not ammonia blah
Comment: ?
Comment: ammonia where fluid builds up in your lung makes it even worse too breath
Comment: i think u mean pneumonia; not ammonia which is a compound of nitrogen and hydrogen
Status: My mom's my newest friend on Facebook. Sorry everyone. No more status' regarding my proclivity for whiskey and whores.
Comment: Just use code...That is what I do.
Comment: You can restrict her from seeing your friends' posts-that's what I did.
Comment: I like Red's idea of code. I mean, you used it in your status. Like how you used "whiskey" instead of "penis" and "whores" instead of "penis"
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