Status: Please post a picture of your (or someone else's) ass for colon cancer awareness. The goal is to see nothing but asses on Facebook by January 1st. We're not sure how, but somehow this will surely cure colon cancer for good. Repost if you're not an awful, terrible person who hates puppies.
Status: I'm getting tired of these NASA WHACKOS and their "quest" to find alien life, like with the new "bacteria." Don't these people realize that if we were gonna find aliens some day, it would be predicted in THE BIBLE? People need to WAKE UP and realize these "scientists" are just insane idiots wasting our money.
Comment: Cell phones weren't predicted in the bible...
Status: Eugh, my sinuses seem to dislike me :(
Comment: What are sinuses?
Comment: They are small furry creatures that live in your eyebrows, have you not heard of them?
Comment: No? That is disgusting! Are they like eye brow nits? EW
Comment: they eat your tears and perform other meaningful tasks. Mine aren't doing their job right so my head is sore :(
Comment: That's so weird...Are you sure your meant to have them?
Comment: Yep, everyone has them! I'm surprised you haven't heard of them before really :/
Comment: oh i really should pay more attention in biology - but now i do know what they are :D
Status: can't wait till Friday when Katie and Rachel find out if they're going to be aunts or uncles
Comment: Wouldn't they be aunts regardless?
Comment: No, cause you know if my sister has a boy than i'd be an uncle. I've been an aunt twice, i can't wait to be an uncle at least once
Comment: I'm sure it will be another great experience. I hope I can be an aunt or uncle someday
Comment: omg, tell me this was a joke...
Comment: guys i don't get it...?
Comment: Why does my name have to be part of this nonsense?
Comment: If their sister has a boy, does that make her a Dad?
Status: i thought about it and it's gonna be fun waking up at 6 on Saturday!
Father: Almost as much fun as I'm gonna be having waking up at 1:30 AM to come pick your ungrateful, thoughtless, lump-o-mud butt. Driving 4 hours through the Indiana darkness with staples holding my eyelids open is just another reminder that i should have left you on the side of the road as an infant. If Jesus truly loved me, he'd slap wings on your back so I could sleep in on a Saturday for the first time since never.
Comment: I love you too
Father: Of course you do. I am the master of your universe.
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