Status: Dear Santa, It is really ironic that you should judge who's naughty and nice. I mean your the one with the sweatshop with children slaves working for you all year long, not to mention all those kids that you put in your lap every year! And on top of all that, over a million "breaking and entering" felonies every Christmas eve! I'm not gonna bother mentioning your drunk ass in the street chasing after women screaming "Hoe, hoe, hoe." So putting things into perspective, I've been a Saint compared to you, please leave me a million dollars and I won't report you.
Status: I find Santa Baby misleading. Last I checked there weren't women beating down doors for fat, married men who work one day a year.
Status: Dear Santa, I am writing to ask you take back the black fluffy bunny you bought me last year, that was not the type of rabbit I asked for!!!
Comment: MUM!!!!
Status: Merry Xmas everyone! Don't forget to leave cookies for jesus.
Status: Santa came!!
Comment: did he get it in your hair??
Status: Went to Barnes & Noble to buy Anton LeVey's book "The Satanic Bible" (just for knowledge's sake, I swear), and when I couldn't locate it, the employee that helped me was named Jesus. Merry Christmas!
Status: Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks.
Status: I hate wrapping things that are not square
Comment: you should reconsider, cause we don't want any little edwins running around
Status: I dare you to replace "Santa Clause" with "Jesus Christ" in the song "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town." The song then becomes even creepier.
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