Comment: That's weird, I robbed some old lady on my way home while some kid was helping her with her groceries
Comment: That's weird, I hit some robber who was robbing some old lady on my way home after I saw some kid helping her with her groceries
Comment: Hey, my mom went grocery shopping, has anybody seen her?
Status: It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 14 to lift your middle finger and tell them to fuck off.
Status: I want a guy who can take me out, unashamed. Show me off at work. Be all over me without being sexual, because he loves me, and isn't afraid to show it. Take me on dates and tells me he loves me in public. A guy who's main goal in the relationship isn't to fuck me, but make me feel special. One of a kind.
Comment: I want a girl with a mind like a diamond.
Comment: a mind like a diamond? I'm not sure I understand that...explain, please.
Comment: I want a girl who knows what's best.
Comment: I want a girl with shoes that cut and eyes that burn like cigarettes.
Comment: I want a girl with the right allocations, who is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack. She's playing with her jewelry. She's putting up her hair. She's touring the facility, and picking u slack.
Comment: I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooong jacket.
Comment: I want a girl who gets up early.
Comment: I want a girl who stays up late.
Comment: hmm, am I missing something
Comment: I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity who uses a machete to cut through red tape, with fingernails that shine like justice and a voice that is dark like tinted glass. She is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack. She is touring the facility and picking up slack.
Comment: I want a girl with a short shirt, and a loooooooong, long jacket.
Comment: I want a girl with a smooth liquidation.
Comment: I want a girl with good dividends. At Citibank we will meet accidentally. We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen. She wants a car with a cupholder armrest. She wants a car that will get her there. She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen. She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron.
Comment: I want a girl with a short skirt and a LOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG JACKET!
Status: Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Comment: I agree
Comment: But it's extra food
Status: An all-white Tennessee is a good Tennessee
Comment: Crap. White as in snow. :P
Comment: Good thing you clarified! I was looking at that going..."OH NO!"
Status: just saw a big one up close for the first time and loved it.
Comment: I always had a feeling, son. It's ok. I love your personality, gay or not.
Status: Pissed because my netbook is filled with viruses because someone was lookin at porn on my computer and it wasn't me. Hence the reason why I hate letting people use my shit.
Comment: was it dad?
Comment: yeah
Status: Everyone: stop studying for finals and read Harry Potter. When you read, replace every "wand" with "wang." It will be a much better use of your time. Promise.
Comment: Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on the walls.
Comment: classic
Status: My 2 year old calls my wives bras a "bobbie hose" ain't life grand
Comment: Hey father of the year, she'll be four on Sunday
Comment: was it dad?
Comment: yeah
Status: Everyone: stop studying for finals and read Harry Potter. When you read, replace every "wand" with "wang." It will be a much better use of your time. Promise.
Comment: Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on the walls.
Comment: classic
Status: My 2 year old calls my wives bras a "bobbie hose" ain't life grand
Comment: Hey father of the year, she'll be four on Sunday
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