Dog Faced Gremlin

I haven't talked about the Dog Faced Gremlin on my blog, and for good reason (she's a soul sucking leech that deserves a life of misery). For those who don't know, the Dog Faced Gremlin is the nickname Bruce gave my ex-girlfriend after our breakup. It's one of those relationships that you hold your head down in shame that you even dated the person. Besides the Dog Faced Gremlin, the thing I formally dated has many other colorful names, such as Leech and the Whore from Hell.

I haven't seen her since the breakup, though Wissachickon and Diddy have run into her several times. Usually the encounter consists of Dog Faced Gremlin realizing they are in close proximity, and her turning around and running out the door. Momma Dukes saw the Dog Faced Gremlin, Dirty Snatch (her sister), and their obnoxious mother, Diarrhea Spleen at Target and was able to witness Diarrhea Spleen's credit card be denied at Target. I wish I was there to witness such an amazing scene of human failure.

Since I rarely see the skank, I revel when Wissachickon or Diddy run into her and make her extremely uncomfortable. I always find their stories entertaining, and the most recent event made me want to shit my pants in laughter. Wissachickon is a manager at Hot Topic, and has run into Dog Faced Gremlin several times over the last few years. On Wednesday, while completing a transaction with Random Douche-bag, she asked for his rewards card. Douche-bag responds to the question, that he doesn't have his card by he "has his girlfriend's card. Well she actually isn't my girlfriend, more like just the girl carrying my baby."

Random Douche-bag presents his rewards card to Wissachickon, and low and behold who's card is it...Dog Faced Gremlin's! To further confirm the story, I did some Facebook Stalking and was finally able to find the skank's aunt's blog, which had an entry posted about Dog Faced Gremlin peeing on a stick. Dog Faced Gremlin is pregnant with some form of mutant baby spawn/unbaptized baby that I enjoyed destroying in Dante's Inferno. 

I have the urge to do a happy dance.