Scary Tube Man

After battling a sinus infection for three weeks, I have finally conquered the bacteria and expelled the infection from my body. I wound up calling out of work for an entire week, and then taking a personal day the following week to got to an allergist and an ear, nose, and throat doctor. In all honesty, it was a waste of a personal day considering that both doctors were quacks.

My first appointment was at an allergist to be allergy tested for black mold. Since I had been to an allergist before, I was mentally prepared to have my back stabbed several dozen times with injections of everything from cat fur to seafood. Prior to the appointment, I was required to fill out an 18 page packet about my health, symptoms, insurance information, etc. I had to fill in my name on 12 different pages, my smoking habits on 5 different pages, and my personal information (insurance, contact information, etc) on 11 different pages. I'm not completely sure why I had to spend so much time filling out the packet, considering that nobody even looked at what was written. I could have pulled an Austin Powers and wrote "yes please" under sex, and nobody would have even seen it.

Allergy-Man was more focused on how well I could pop virtual balloons on a computer than with anything else. After blowing into a gun/tube like thing with a handle a half dozen times, Allergy-Man decides to diagnose me with asthma, including prescribing an inhaler for me. I don't have asthma! I'm a smoker and had he even flipped through any of the 18 pages of information I had to fill out, he would have known that. He then directed me to figure out what type of mold is growing in my bathroom so that he could determine what molds to allergy test me for. Really? I didn't realize I had become a mold expert. 

I left appointment number one and headed to an appointment with my family doctor to ask for Welbutrin, which was the only positive thing to come out of the horrible day.

After having lunch with Rachel, who wasn't having a good day herself, I headed to the ear, nose, and throat doctor. I walked into the office to find signs everywhere about rhinoplasty, a plaque with medical instruments used for rhinoplasty hung on the wall, and numerous books written by Daniel Becker, the doctor that I was about to see. My mind was racing with nerves. What the hell did I just get myself into.

After signing in, I was asked to fill out some routine paperwork. After filling out the first two pages, I flip to the third to find a permission slip. Becker wanted permission to film our appointment so that he could use it in his research. Definitely skipped over that page, along with the next page that was a disclaimer and permission slip that he wanted to shove a tube up my nose. Hell no buddy!

Needless to say I did not sign either of those pages, which is important to note. I head into the examination room to find a dentist's chair and more information on rhinoplasty. Becker comes in and attempts to shove the tube up my nose but I stopped him. He then said he was going to look up my nose with a tube with a light on it. I was completely unprepared for him shoving the tube up my nose. I felt like he was going to stab my eyeball. I kept envisioning eyeball juice running down my face. Apparently the tube was going to go up my nose and out my throat. Good thing I stopped him before he got that far!

No answers from that doctor, though I didn't really give him the opportunity to even diagnose me. Instead, I had a panic attack while I was in the examination room, and a second on my way home from scary, tube man. With no answers, I've decided to take my health into my own hands and have become very proactive. I've been taking a multivitamin and a fruit and vegetable supplement everyday, along with extra Vitamin C in the evening. My proactive method has been working so far, I haven't felt sick in any way in over two weeks.

Sinus Infection Round 3

I seem to be finding myself with a round of nasty sinus infections that are wiping me the fuck out. Over the last five weeks, this is the third sinus infection. This latest round started on Christmas Eve, when I woke up to find my right eye completely swollen shut. I originally thought that Rachel had grabbed my eye socket in her sleep, which is a safe assumption since she can be quiet violent in her sleep. During the holidays, the swelling and pain traveled from one side of my eye to the other, causing my upper eyelid to swell up and take over the bottom eyelid. I honestly looked like I got into a fight.

After Christmas, the congestion began. I could barely breathe through my nose and my ears became filled with fluid, creating a permanent ocean sound. By Thursday, I could barely function and couldn't get myself off the couch. Rachel called my doctor to make an appointment, but they were booked for Friday, but told her to call again in the morning to schedule a Same-Day-Illness appointment, which was fantastic. My former doctor would have tried to make an appointment for two weeks from now, when my face was completely filled with fluids.

On Friday morning, we went to the doctor, and low and behold, I have a sinus infection. No surprise there. While being sick isn't funny, the doctor's reaction to my puffy face was actually entertaining. She took one look at me and was utterly shocked that I was still functioning.

Sinuses are air-filled spaces in the skull, located behind the forehead, nasal bones, cheeks, and eyes, that are filled with mucus membranes. A healthy sinus contains no bacteria or germs, but when the openings become blocked from too much mucus build up, bacteria and other germs can grow more easily. What usually results in pain behind the eyes, cheeks, teeth, etc. Apparently, my sinus infection had become so bad, that fluid had begun to build up behind my eyes, which causes the swelling in my eye. Fantastic.

After realizing that I have had an ongoing sinus problem since Thanksgiving, I decided to look it sinus infections tonight, since I couldn't sleep anyway. There are three types of sinus infections, acute, sub-acute, and chronic. An acute sinus infection can last up to 4 weeks, while a sub-acute can last between 4-12 weeks. Chronic sinus infections can last more than 3 months. Realizing that I have been battling the sinus infection since Thanksgiving, I'm assuming that this monster is in the sub-acute category, though if it gets to the chronic stage then I will go postal on someone's ass.

In the meantime, I'm on a Z-pack and Mucinex to clear up the infection. So far, it's been doing the job, proof being that I no longer look like I boxed Mike Tyson in a 30 second TKO. The doctor believes the antibiotic will have me back to healthy by Tuesday. Hopefully this does the job right the first time, otherwise it means more antibiotics for me. In the meantime, I'm failing my duties as blog writer.