Hornets Nest Round Two

As you may know, there is currently a war going on at the Langmore between bees and myself. In a span of a few days, my sister had to destroy a wasp hive in our bedroom window and I destroyed two hornet hives on the front porch outside our window. After killing what I thought were the last two hornets, I thought the war between the two sides was over, but I was wrong.

Apparently, more than two hornets had survived the hornet genocide. After posting my entry on the hornet nest, I went outside to clean up the dead bees and knock down the two hives on the porch. While cleaning up, I noticed two more hornets had returned and were trying to build a third hive within a few inches from the previous two hives. Are you kidding me?!

I took my broom and killed the two hornets and swept their tiny, little hornet bodies with their comrades, pushing everyone off the porch and into the flower bed below. I thought that I had finally gotten rid of the hornets permanently.

Of course, I was mistaken. While heading out to the grocery store the next day, I noticed a single hornet trying to make a hive within a few inches of the third hive. What is wrong with these silly little insects? Why would you continually attempt to make a hive in the same spot? It doesn't make much sense to me.

While out, Rachel and I bought more Raid (can #3 at this point) and when I got home I sprayed the new hive, along with the entire porch near our apartment. Of course, the lone hornet fell to the ground, after receiving a deathly dose of insect genocide spray. You would have thought that would have taken care of the problem, but it didn't.

Today, Rachel and her dad rehearsed for the performance at Albert Hall next month, and on our way out to dinner we noticed that two hornets had returned and were desperately trying to make a new hive.

What...the...fuck...

After dinner, I used the remainder of the insect genocide spray to kill the three hornets that were now on the porch. Apparently, they called a friend to join them in their death. There wasn't much in the container left, enough to make the hornets fall to the ground but they were still spinning around on their backs. I would have felt bad for them, had they not been trying to make a fourth hive on the porch.

Dear Hornets,
Please get the hint and stop making hives on our porch. Living so close to our window is quite uncomfortable, because you have pointy stingers. I do not want to be stung, nor do I want to commit hornet genocide on a daily basis. Is there no where else you can make home? Please, spread your wings and fly away.
Sincerely,
The Hornet Killer

P.S. Can you take the spiders with you?

Hornet Nest

After Comcast showed up early on Friday, Rachel and I decided to go out for breakfast at The Harrison House. On our way to the car, Diane, our neighbor, was also heading to her car. We started discussing the move, when she pointed out a hornets nest that was near our bedroom window. I thought she was referring to the wasp nest that Mark and Diddy had taken care of on Saturday, but she was actually referring to a new nest in front of our other bedroom window.


Bees - 1, Humans - 1

Before heading to breakfast, Rachel and I went to investigate the nest. There was a huge nest of hornets on the porch by the stairs to the third floor. In all my time in South Jersey, I had never actually seen any hornets. I’ve been stung by a fair share of yellow jackets and wasps, but was never stung by a hornet, so I wasn’t sure if I was even allergic to this new stingy insect. Diane was worried about the nest not only because it was so close to our window, but she was allergic to hornets. What is with all these people in Mullica Hill that are allergic to bees? Was that a requirement at some point to live in the town?


Rachel wanted to call Mark about the hornet nest, but I didn’t want to rely on him for a problem like this. The one thing I’ve learned from this moving experience, is that there are some issues that you have to deal with yourself or you will be on Mark’s Naughty List. After the last few weeks of hell with the moving situation, I felt that Rachel and I were finally off the Naughty List, and I didn’t want to take chances of returning to the list. I told Rachel that I would take care of the problem myself.

Dressed in my Sunday best (camo pants, a hooded long sleeve shirt, and towel wrapped around my face), I headed outside with my trusty can of Raid. I stood back and sprayed the nest, watching hornets drop like the wasps from Saturday. Of course there were about twice as many hornets as wasps, but only two managed to escape. I tried to spray them as they flew away, but they were agile flying creatures, and escaped the Raid. As for the nest, it was now drenched in Raid, and the hornets lay dead below.

Bees - 1, Humans - 2

Before I could bask in the glory of hornet genocide, Rachel noticed the two remaining hornets were trying to rebuild their hive on a different section of the porch by our window. I went out to check, and low and behold the two survivors were making some good progress on a new hive. Stupid hornets.

Bees - 2, Humans - 2

With the remaining contents of the Raid canister, I headed back outside to take care of Bonnie and Clyde. While they were working hard on rebuilding their hornet community, they didn’t realize that I was standing below them ready to kill. I sprayed the new hive with my insect genocide spray and watched Bonnie and Clyde join the remainder of their community - dead.

The hornets are still dead on the porch, I’m hoping the pile of dead bees will be a reminder to any other bees that I mean business.

Bees - 2, Humans - 3