Oprah

When I was in elementary school, Momma Dukes would always sit down to watch Oprah and then the evening news. On a few, rare occasions, I would sit down with Momma Dukes to watch Oprah with her. Even at a young age, I realized that there was something very wrong with this woman, though I couldn't put my finger on what it was about her that I didn't like.

It wasn't until quite recently that I finally realized what made Oprah the biggest sack of shit to walk the planet: she's an insensitive jerk who's ego has become so large that she no longer consider's herself human. 

Where is this Oprah rant coming from? Next week, my student's are going to start to read Daniel's Story by Carol Matas and learning about the Holocaust. On Thursday, I was searching the internet for some Holocaust materials, when I came across an interview conducted by Oprah with Elie Wiesel. The interview was conducted at Auschwitz. For those who have been living under in a hole for the last 80 years, Elie Wiesel was a survivor of Auschwitz, but most of his family perished there.

During the interview, Oprah and Wiesel walked through the camp together while he discussed his experience there. Halfway through the third part of the interview (the entire interview can be found in chunks on Youtube)  Oprah and Wiesel walk to the remains of Crematoria 3, where Wiesel believes that his mother and younger sister perished. Wiesel clearly states that he wants to be silent for a moment to think about his mother and sister.

Does Oprah listen? Fuck no. Instead of giving the man his much deserved moment of silence, she starts going on about how the Nazis treated the entire process like a soup factory. Really Oprah? He's getting choked up about his family and your discussing this! He only asked for a moment of silence, not to end the entire interview. You really couldn't give him a few moments of silence? Were you afraid your viewers may turn the channel?

I actually turned the interview off at this point and went out to dinner with Rachel. I'm curious to watch the remainder of the interview, but really don't want to waste any more of my time watching Oprah be extremely disrespectful.

Dear Oprah,

I'm not sure why everyone seems to think you are some sort of queen of media, but I personally believe you are a jackass. An insensitive one at that. In fact, you are the equivalent to a chewed piece of gum that has been thrown to the side of the road. I don't care how many cars, books, or big-fancy checks you give away, you will always be an insensitive jerk to me.

Oprah-Hater 

 

 

Seven Pandemics

Malaria
Although it is now mostly confined to the tropics, malaria is still one of the world's most devastating pandemics, and continues to infect as many as 500 million people every year. The sickness, which is caused by a parasite found in certain mosquitoes, is resistant to drugs, and a dependable vaccine has still yet to be developed. Malaria and its effects have been well documented as a major factor throughout history. There were over a million cases of the disease during the American Civil War alone, and malaria is considered by many to have been a factor in the decline and eventual fall of the Roman Empire.

On a more personal note, Momma Dukes got malaria when I was in elementary school. Don't believe me, she's Case 1 in the Proceedings of the Seventy-Ninth Annual Meeting of the New Jersey Mosquito Control Association. A more detailed account of Momma Dukes vs. Malaria was written in the New England Journal of Medicine. She actually never traveled outside of the country at this point in her life, so she sure as hell wasn't in Africa. Of course, being nine years old at the time, not many people tend to believe a nine year old when she says "my mom has malaria."

Typhus
Known for its ability to spread quickly in cramped and unsanitary conditions, typhus is credited with millions of deaths in the 20th century alone. The disease is also known as "camp sickness" for the way it seems to flare up on the front lines during wartime. It is said that 8 million Germans were killed by a typhus pandemic during the 30 years war, and the disease is also well documented as a significant cause of death in Nazi concentration camps. Typhus is perhaps most famously known for nearly wiping out the French army during Napoleon's invasion of Russia. It has been estimated that as many as 400,000 of his soldiers may have died from the disease, many more than were killed in combat.

The Plague of Athens
The Plague of Athens was an epidemic that broke out in Greece during the Peloponnesian War in 430 BC. Historians have been unable to agree on exactly what the plague was, with typhoid, smallpox, and measles all being considred, but it is most commonly considered to have been a form of the bubonic plague. The disease started when the inhabitants of Athens retreated behind the city-state's walls for protection from the approaching Spartan army. The cramped quarters inevitably became a breeding ground for the plague, which is said to have killed one in three of the city-state's inhabitants, including its leader, Pericles.

Smallpox
Although it has since been successfully eradicated, smallpox devastated the Americas when European settlers first introduced it in the 15th century. Of all the diseases brought to the new world, smallpox was the most virulent, and it is credited with the deaths of millions of native peoples in the United States and Central America. Smallpox decimated the Aztec and Inca civilizations and is generally considered to be a major factor in their eventual conquering by the Spanish. The disease was equally dangerous back in Europe, where it is estimated to have killed 60 million people in just the 18th century alone.

Bubonic Plague
Perhaps the most well known pandemic in history, the Black Death was a massive outbreak of bubonic plague that ravaged Europe through most of the 1300s. Characterized by the appearance of oozing and bleeding sores on the body and a high fever, the plague is estimated to have killed anywhere from 75 to 200 million people in the 14th century alone, with recent research concluding that 45-50% of the entire population of Europe was wiped out. The Plague would be a constant threat for the next hundred years, periodically resurfacing and killing thousands, with the last major outbreak occurring in London in the 1600s.

The Spanish Flu
Arriving on the heels of the devastation of World War I, the Spanish Flu of 1918 is widely considered to be one of the most vicious pandemics in history. A worldwide phenomenon, it is estimated to have infected one third of the world's entire population, and eventually killed as many as 100 million people. The virus, which has since been identified as a strain of H1N1, would surface in waves, frequently disappearing in communities as quickly as it arrived. Fearing a massive uproar, governments did their best to downplay the severity of the flu, and because of wartime censorship, its far-reaching effects were not fully realized until years later. Only Spain, a neutral country during WWII, allowed comprehensive news reporting on the pandemic, which is why it eventually became known as the Spanish Flu.

Cholera
One of the most consistently dangerous diseases in history, cholera and its so-called "seven pandemics" killed millions between 1816 and the early 1960s. Generally transmitted through contaminated food or drinking water, the disease first sprang up in India, where it is said to have killed as many as 40 million between 1817 and 1860. It would soon spread to Western Europe and the United States, were it killed more than a hundred thousand people in the mid-1800s. Since them, there have been periodic outbreaks of cholera, but advances in medicine have made it a much less deadly disease. While it once had a mortality rate of 50 percent or more, when treated, cholera is now life threatening only in the most rare of cases.