Comment: congrats!!!
Comment: what
Comment: I would say congrats but I would be lying to ya...ur really gonna marry that piece of shit when he's left ya to be with another girl & also left ya when u were pregnant!!! If ur dad was still around he would whip that douchebags ass...what are u thinking!?!?!?!?!
Status: You know what I love most about collage girls?
Comment: you can fit so many on the same page?
Status: im fresh like a baby's first breath
Comment: Actually, I've been doing quite a bit of study on the topic as my daughter will be born soon. For the several months prior to the babies first breath, he or she has been swallowing the amniotic fluid and then urinates it back into the womb, and swallowing it again and again as the baby develops. I'm sure you feel great but I hope you don't feel like a babies first breath.
Status: The box says "With a donut in each hand, ANYTHING is possible!" I want to know what exactly I'm going to accomplish by Kung-Fu gripping two pastries?
Comment: You'd finally kick your masturbation addiction.
Status: Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" 12 people called me...I need smarter friends.
Comment: Did u ever find it?
Comment: You need a life
Comment: I would comment on this but I lost my facebook.
Status: School starts tomorrow. I wonder what new types of Axe Body Spray came out this summer.
Status: If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in gay to work. "Hello. Can't work today, still gay."
Comment: wonder if Obama care will cover it?
Facebook is like fridges, you know there's nothing inside but you check it out every five minutes.
Status: So, I had 978 Facebook friends last night. I put that I was in a relationship and now I have 936 Facebook friends...
Status: thank you everyone for the birthday wishes I thought no one remembered but my mom my own li brother forgot
Comment: I DIDN'T forget, its only the day after moms birthday every year...the reason I didn't call you was because I was pissed off you asked to borrow money from mom when she had a $600 light bill and THEN didn't even pay her back when you said you would. So I had to give her money to help her when she needed it and here you are asking to borrow money. Not only THAT i had to see YOUR dog put down and then dig a grave for it all in the same week. So yea happy bday. we know its all about you.
Sister to Brother: iF ShE sTilL wRitES LiKE ThiS sHe iS tOo yOunG FOr YoU BrO
Status: Jesus can walk on water. Humans are 70% water. I can walk on humans. Therefore, I am 70% Jesus.
Comment: ice is 100% water and i can walk on ice so therefore im 100% Jesus
Status: I lost my phone...
Comment: It says that was written on facebook mobile...Are you ON the phone? Have you checked your hands?
Status: Well, today has sucked so far. Due to a flat tire, and several events caused by said flat tire, I just now got to school. But still, if it hasn't been for Neil Wilson stopping to help out a complete stranger, this bad situation might have been worse.
Comment: Fuck yeah! Neil Wilson's my dawg man!
Comment: Sure it's the same one? This was an older white guy. He is from (insert city here), though.
Comment: I was kidding.
Comment: Neil is the shit! He saved that cat from the tree that was on fire!
Comment: Neil also did my taxes!
Comment: Saved my crops from locusts.
Comment: Neil helped me save 15% on my insurance.
Comment: Neil, landed that plane on the Hudson river.
Comment: Neil Wilson doesn't always drive a car...but when he does he stops to help out complete strangers.
Status: Time to go fourwheeling and get supper muddy!!!
Comment: But if you get supper muddy, then no-one will want to eat it.
Comment: eat what? i'm not feeding anybody
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