Status: I was playing Farmville when immigration showed up and took all my workers!!!
Status: Yes Jesus was the first zombie...but you don't see him eating people.
Comment: Baby, I'm pregnant, it's 8 months old, I'm sorry I'm posting this here but you are not answering any of my calls
Status: So my dog the other day stole a pillow off my couch and humped it while ripping it to shreds so I threw it away. Does this mean I'm an accomplice to a kidnap/rape/murder? Cuz I'm not going to jail over this.
Status: double-headed dildo ass to ass fuck image
Comment: OMG I'm so sorry everyone! Thought that was the google toolbar lol...anyone know how to delte a status update??!??
Comment: go to your profile and click on delete!
Comment: I CANNOT SEE IT...oh my goodness i am so sorry everyone. i am ashamed of what the internet has done to me...maybe this will be a wake up call
Status: Sometimes, whenever I eat M&Ms, I like to hold two M&Ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as I can until one M&M cracks. I eat the cracked one, and the one that didn't crack becomes the champion. Then I grab the other M&M, and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of M&M gladiators. I do this until I run out of M&Ms, and when there is only one M&M left standing, I send a letter to M&M's brand with the champion in it with a note that attached that reads: "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
Status: Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs. Never let a boy between your legs. They'll say you're cute, they'll say you're fine and 9 months later they say "It ain't mine"
Comment: Are you pregnant? hahahaha
Comment: Wrong is wrong, right is right. Never do a girl, you met that night. She'll say she's clean, no need for wraps. Few days later, you've got her crabs.
Status: Post this as your status if you know someone who was eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn't know, most can also breathe fire (or something equally formidable). Ninety-three percent of people won't post this, because they've already been eaten by dragons, 6% of people are siting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers; and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
Comment: Deawthing vs. Trogdor, who woudl win?
Comment: I don't know, I'm too busy being a part of the 6% sitting in my shower with my fire extinguisher the only reason I'm part of the 1% who posted this is because I have a smartphone too just in case the zombies come. because smartphones are important during the apocalypse.
Comment: Speaking of the apocalypse, it is coming...all over the world massive fish kills and bird kills in the 10's of thousands are happening. Very odd. Actually even very close to you in the Chesapeake there was one recently.
Comment: We are actually, and I'm serious about this one, in the midst of a bomb scare at the very building(s) I work in, the bombs didn't go off in my building per say tho
Comment: hmm. well that sucks. congrats on not getting blown up!
No comments:
Post a Comment