Status: Above the influence: Talk to your cats about catnip today.
Status: What do you think PETA's reaction would be if you sent them a box of animal crackers with the heads bitten off?
Status: Just got an e-mail from Jeffery Ben from Zimbabwe stating I am in his dieing father's will, he is sending me 3.8 million dollars. All I have to do is send him my bank account and social security number. Life is Good.
Comment: Good deal! WHO WOULDN'T do that?
Comment: I went ahead and put my two weeks in at work, I'm planning a vacation around the world. Just can't believe I was in a guy's will I don't even know. Pretty amazing.
Comment: lucky you dude...you're freaking set!
Comment: I won the UK lottery last week worth 50 million dollars just wanted me to send them the $500 transfer fee. They said my check would be here by now.
Comment: that's nothing - you should see the emails I have been getting. My penis is going to be SO GIGANTIC.
Status: I run into a friend at the mall and she asks if I found a husband yet. Mark says "my mom has all these kids by all these people thats why she can't find a husband." some of his gifts will be getting returned.
Status: Non-alcoholic beer. It's like going down on your cousin - it tastes the same but its just not right!!!!
Status: Okay, this may sound a little strange, but fuck it. I am having my 25th birthday in less than a month (January 10) and am looking for one thing. I wish to have a chick piss in my mouth and then fuck her. I'm just putting it out their. Unfriend me if you want, I don't care. I've been asking different people for the past 3 months with no luck. Message me if you know someone or just berate me in the comments.
Status: I think I'll staple mistletoe to my ovaries tomorrow night!!!!
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