Sunday, November 14, 2010

15 Things To Do With Voldemort

15. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'
14. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.
13. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
12. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
11. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
10. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
9. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
8. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.
7. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colors and glitter.
6. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
5. Mock his choice of Quirrel as 'host.'
4. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
3. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
2. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
1. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour.

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