Father of the Year

My father and I have never had the best of relationships. For almost ten years we didn't even speak to each other until I had the encouragement to call him on my birthday two years ago.

1. After my parents separated, the court gave him a visitation schedule. We were supposed to see him on Wednesdays after school, every other weekend, and once a month he would have us on Sundays. After several months, he stopped showing up on Wednesdays and then stopped showing up on Sundays. He wouldn't even call to say he wasn't coming to pick us up, he just wouldn't show.
2. During the summer going into eighth grade, Dave was supposed to take Diddy and I on a vacation to Maryland. I called him the night before to ask him if he could pick up sunblock and he got furious, accusing my mother of squandering our child support. He refused to take me on the trip, but still wanted my sister to go with him to Maryland, but she refused to go.
3. On visitation weekends, he neglected to take care of us. There was never any food in the house (and the food that was there was either stale or spoiled). Instead he would get drunk and watch football. On more than one occasion, he drank beer while driving my sister and I somewhere (usually to get more beer). In order to eat, Diddy and I would often steal the spare change from his car and walk to Wawa to buy edible food.
4. When I was about thirteen, my sister was really ill (I think with pneumonia) and didn't go to his house for the weekend. Instead, I had to go on my own. Over the weekend, he dropped me off at the movies to see Super Mario Bros, but forgot to pick me up from the theater. The employees gave me free popcorn and a hot dog, and let me watch Made in America for free. He finally showed up later that night (I was at the theater for a good 8 hours after the movie ended), smelling like beer.
5. After the sun screen fight, we refused to go to his house for the weekend. Instead, we spent our visitation weekends with his parent, who lived within walking distance of him. Dave never came to visit us when we were there, even when he still had his license and could drive there.
6. About a month before my sixteenth birthday, we were visiting his parents for the weekend. Dave actually showed up for a change and asked me what I wanted for my birthday, which was very surprising since he hadn't bothered to buy either one of us a birthday gift since I was thirteen. He told me that he had already bought something "special" for me, but it would come in the mail. A few days after my birthday, my mother got a package in the mail. He filed for divorce on my sixteenth birthday.
7. He never showed up to my high school graduation. Instead, he went his girlfriend's daughter's graduation. Dave never even called to congratulate me that I had graduated.
8. In college, his parents gave him my dorm room phone number. He called one night to tell me that he had lymph node cancer. An hour later, my mother called me to tell me that Dave had called her to brag that he talked to me. In fact he didn't have cancer at all, he just wanted to prove to her that he could have me back in his life at any moment.
9. He refused to help pay for any of my college education. In fact, he was actually angry at my mother for not buying me a "brand new" car and giving me my Nana's old car when I got my license.

All contact with him was severed after the cancer episode. In fact, I refused to speak to even his parents or siblings since they gave him my dorm room phone number. When I got a cell phone, I refused to give them my number, out of fear that they would give it to him.

About two years ago, I decided to call him on my birthday and of course he was drunk. It was the most difficult decision of my life, because I was still so angry at him, yet I didn't want to live my entire life being angry. I thought by calling him, I would be able to let go of some of the anger and resentment that had been building up to him.

We talked about once a month, with me doing all of the phone calls. We would see each other at his parents house, and I even went to the hell-hole that is his house for a brief visit. Our talks and visits were brief and extremely awkward.

Then last week, I called him to announce my engagement and to see how he was doing after his knee surgery. I called him in the late afternoon, so that I knew I would get him on the phone pre-drunken mess. I was so excited about telling him about my engagement, however, in typical Dave style, he busted my bubble.

Me: Guess what! I got engaged!
Dave: Yea...did you hear that your grandparents have my truck?

Are you kidding me? What kind of response is that? Where is the congratulations or I'm happy for you. All I got was a fucking Yea!

Not only is the man not walking me down the aisle, he will not be receiving an invitation to our amazing wedding. He will have no part in our children's lives, I even plan on giving any birthday/holiday presents from the man for my children, to Good Will...still wrapped. I'm even thinking of having all of his parental rights taken away.

I know that I'm an adult, but I want no part in the man.