With the exception of playing video games, this week has been anything but stress free. The Langmore Salon recently expanded into the space behind them (and directly below our apartment). They have primarily been working on the weekends and in the early morning hours before their Salon was open. I have become numb to the noises coming from below, however due to the amount of cleaning, knocking down walls, and sanding, the odors coming from below are reminiscent from when John still lived there.
On Tuesday, I propped the main hallway door open to get some fresh air into the building. At around 11 am, our neighbor, Louie, went into the hallway and kicked the doorstop from the door, causing the chunk of wood to clank against the radiator. He then slammed the front door shut and stomped towards his apartment. As he was about to enter his apartment, he screamed out that he was "fucking tired of these girls. They are such fucking assholes. It's too cold for this shit." Afterwards, he promptly slammed his door shut.
As this was all happening, I had Gerald sitting in my lap. Gerald does not like loud noises, screaming, and sudden movements. Seeing that Louie's temper tantrum involved all three of these vices, Gerald jumped out of my lap, puncturing my arm and fled towards the bedroom.
At this point, I was a little shocked and frankly terrified of our new neighbor. What would have happened if I had been outside having a smoke break? Does he usually behave like this? Is he even aware that I am home on spring break?
I decided to not press the issue and the following morning, I headed outside to see Rachel off to work and the hallway smelled again. I propped the door open once again, said bye to Rachel, and headed back outside. Within 30 seconds of my door closing, I hear Louie's door open. He proceeds to close the door and go back into his apartment.
Two can play at this game. About an hour later, I headed outside and noticed the door stop was completely gone. Asshole had taken it inside with him earlier in the day. What the fuck is wrong with this nut job? I came back inside and plotted a new game plan. After hearing him leave, I went outside and grabbed two bricks and used them to prop the door open.
Timing has never been my strong suit, and within moments of placing my bricks I noticed Louie's truck pulling into the parking lot. He came up the stairs with his groceries falling out of the bags and paused at the door with a confused look on his face that screamed, "Oh god! These girls practice witchcraft." He brought his groceries inside and then waltzed to the door, grabs the bricks, and throws them onto the porch.
Bring it on scrawny white boy. Bring it on.
He starts to scream as I calmly light my cigarette, cross my legs, and flick the first ashes into the ashtray. I really wanted to crack my knuckles before letting loose, but let him have it. Obviously, my huge problem was the fact that he tore through the hallway like Hulk the day before. As soon as I start to speak, the words flowed out like a harsh whipping. Louie, tucked his nonexistent tail between his legs and ran towards his car.
He came back upstairs and decided to unleash again on me, which prompted me to unleash back. After I unleashed back, he tells me that if I prompt the door open again he's going to call the cops. Of course, he goes running for his car. I jump up from my seat and start to scream back, telling him that the door has been propped open well before he moved into the building and will be propped open well after he moves out and that if he's got a problem with me then he can say it to my face rather than behind a door. I proceed to call him a coward and a dickhead and at this point I can hear the neighbors coming. One by one, screen doors are opening above and below me. The employees and customers of Sisters are standing on their porch laughing their ass off as Louie, is now dropping water bottles all over the ground.
He storms back up the stairs and goes inside. I thought that the argument was over and continue having my cigarette when he proceeds to come back out a third time. Now he's claiming that I intentionally closed the hallway door, causing his mother and son to be locked on the porch for hours. I sat their shocked beyond belief, seeing that one of my many reasons for propping the door open in the first place is that it locks on its own.
Of course, he doesn't want to hear that we had overnight guests the last two weeks, the fact that the door automatically locks when it closes, and that I have been locked out several times in the past. He only wants to spout out that I intentionally locked his kid on the porch and now his son is terrified of me.
He goes back inside again after I pointed out that he was a dickhead for the upteenth time and obviously doesn't have much brains in his head if he really believes that I intentionally locked his kid out. Moments later, he comes back out for round four.
Round four starts out with him saying that we are even, since he called me an asshole and I called him a dickhead. Now I am hysterically laughing at the notion that we are "even" and point out the fact that I have more balls than he does, since I called him a dickhead to his face. He once again reiterates that he's calling the cops the next time the door is open and that I am going to pay his electric bill. I reiterated the dickhead comment by stating the obvious facts that 1) the door is not an emergency door and can be propped open, 2) our heat runs on gas not electric and 3) he's a dickhead.
The argument finally ended with me telling him that I was going to call the cops if the doorstop didn't show back up by the end of the day. He claimed he doesn't know what happened to it but then clams up when I told him that I watched him take it into his apartment. I then called him a dickhead again and told him that he was currently in possession of stolen property.
Obviously, I had no intention of calling the police about a chunk of wood but I had the desire to battle fire with explosive materials. I'm not sure if he is the type to call the police over something so trivial, but I do know he's the type of person who craves being made to look like a fool.
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