Finding love is hard, and it's even harder when you are only attracted to Asian midgets with Parkinson's disease and a lisp. In the days of no interwebs, you would have died alone, but thanks to the interwebs we now know that no matter how insane your tastes are, there is a community out there that shares them with you.
The Atlasphere
Do you love Atlas Shrugged, but hate it when your friends don't understand how that makes you better than the rest of society? Did you read The Fountainhead in college and decide you were destined to change humanity? Are you a fan of terrible puns? Then you might find love at The Atlasphere, the dating site for hardcore fans of Ayn Rand. The Atlasphere feels less like a genuine dating site and more like a place for people to tell each other how awesome they are for liking Ayn Rand. Are those the sort of people we really want to be reproducing?
Datecraft
If you like video games so much that you want to fulfill every last stereotype about them, then Datecraft is where you'll need to look for love. Clearly, anyone who's a gamer isn't fit for normal human interaction, they need their own special dating site, where their unwashed pallor won't spook the regular people. Again, there's nothing wrong with trying to share a mutual interest, but if you can't separate yourself from Lord Thunderdong, your level 85 shaman, then maybe romance shouldn't be your first priority in life.
Date my Pet
Date my Pet is, despite the name, not a bestiality site. It's actually much more creepier; it's a site for people who (platonically) love their pets so much that they come as a package in a relationship. It's right there in the site's slogan: "Date Me. Date My Pet." Date my Pet's profiles are so saccharine it's hard to believe these people actually know what dating is. Users spend more time describing their pets than they do themselves, and they use words like "purrfect" and "nosewiggling" with such reckless abandon that even the Care Bears would be disgusted. Everyone on this site is trying to stave off menopause, including the men. Their idea of a hot night out is a trip to the quilt festival and finishing the evening with some heavy petting in an entirely nonsexual way.
Farmer's Only
You no doubt have assumed that Farmer's Only is a dating site for farmers only, but you couldn't be more wrong. According to the site's founder, "you don't have to be a farmer, but you do have to have good old-fashioned down to earth values." By "old-fashioned values," Miller is actually using code for either being a racist or being Amish. The site also has elements of Confederacy Couples and more First Cousin Fornicating. Anyone who chooses a dating site on the advice of a talking cow is probably upset that their own heifers are only interested in the physical aspect of their relationship.
Vampersonals
Vampires need love as much as we mere mortals, as a variety of terrible novels have demonstrated, but just where can the undead find a life partner? Daytime activities are out, and they can't go to the bar without the risk of being killed by George Clooney. Well, as luck would have it, the interwebs is the perfect place for mopey freaks who sit around in the dark all day. And it's great for vampires too!
Vampersonals is the dating site for goths and bloodsuckers, whether users are just claiming to be vampires as an excuse to bite people or they actually think they're nosferatu isn't completely clear. In addition to letting you browse its pale and clammy members roster, Vampersonals offers a variety of suggestions for the perfect gothic date, such as "discussing the frailty and futility of life as you sip aged wine.
Dating with Benefits
Dating with Benefits is both the most honest dating site I've seen, and the saddest. DWB is where rich men looking for sexual favors and gold diggers on the hunt for their latest sugar daddy meet and mutually agree to suck all the romance out of their lives. Why look for a partner who shares your interests and dreams when you could just hook up with some old guy who's willing to buy you designer clothes if you indulge his perverted desires?
Gleeden
Look at all those single farmers, video game addicts, and vampires are having! Why should you, the married man or woman, miss out? What your significant other doesn't know can't hurt them, right? If you aren't repulsed by that line of thinking you should check out Gleedon, a dating site for married people! Gleeden commits a double sin by promoting adultery with one of the most horrific play on words we've ever seen. If you can cringe your way through their home page, you'll find an elaborate profile system that allows users to only reveal personal information to each other after they've built up a level of trust, thereby significantly lowering the odds of accidentally arranging a tryst with a Russian supermodel who turns out to be your suspicious wife. And there's even a panic button on every page, just to make it extra clear how sleazy you are for using the site!
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