Cravings

The average human being has experienced the temptation of a craving at least once in their lifetime, whether it was the tempting idea of snacking on the last piece of cake in the office or when and where the next alcohol beverage will be consumed. A majority of the time, people don't even realize they are craving something since they aren't trying to control the urge. Why would one realize they are craving a piece of chocolate when they weren't on a diet?

During an extremely stressful point in my life, I started smoking and haven't been able to quit since. I've tried numerous ways to quit, the patch, the electronic cigarette, cold turkey; but each method ultimately failed. I would set goals up for myself, such as 'if I don't smoke any cigarettes this week I can purchase a video game for myself' but something would always come up that resulted in me purchasing another pack of Camels.

My amazing fiance has been hounding me to quit for months now, since she's concerned for my health. This past year, I have come down with several nasty colds, bronchitis, and developed a nasty, painful cough that lasted for months. I kept reassuring her that I wanted to quit but it wasn't the best time in my life to do so. I promised that as soon as summer vacation started, I would be done with smoking permanently.

Obviously the school year has ended, which ultimately means that I have to quit smoking. Saturday marked the first day using the patch again. For those not familiar, the patch is an adhesive patch that contains a certain amount of nicotine to help quit smoking. There are three stages to the process which gradually reduce the amount of nicotine needed in your system. Stage 1 is a 21 mg patch, Stage 2 is a 14 mg patch, and Stage 3 is a 7 mg patch. Stage 1 is also the longest stage, with six weeks of wearing the patch, with stages 2 and 3 each having a two week period.

As in prior experiences, I'm having two major problems with the patch. The patch is attached to the skin using an adhesive that I'm apparently allergic too. At the end of each day, I pull of the patch before going to bed to find a rash in the perfect shape of a square. Today is the fourth day of the patch, so you can only imagine how my thighs are looking with square rashes on them. Not only have my legs become not so attractive, but they also itch like there is no tomorrow.

To add insult to injury, while the patch does help control the cravings, it does absolutely nothing for actually breaking the habit of actually lighting a cigarette. Which brings me back to what I was originally discussing: cravings.

There are certain triggers for me that cause the cravings, which then result in me fighting against myself to control the cravings. I have yet to find a successful distraction, especially since I have numerous triggers that can set me off at any moment. My worst trigger would be the morning cigarette, which I usually would have when I first woke up in the morning. I know, what a way to start off my day, but it became habitual. I consider this to be the worse of the triggers, because I am now finding myself waking up in the morning with the craving and it sets the entire day off.

I could easily sleep with the patch on and change it in the morning, however one of the side effects of doing so is vivid nightmares. I went through the last attempt with the patch and quickly realized I would take a good night of sleep over cravings any day of the week. Additionally, without a good night of rest, I easily succumbed to the cravings.

As a result, I'm becoming restless and agitated without something to fill the space of having a cigarette. In the last few days, I have updated all of information and photos on Facebook, bathed Zonks, watched every episode of Hoarders, Master Chef, Bones, and CSI on OnDemand, and have become addicted to Free Cell. I also plan to start to exercise, with the full intention of paying for a gym membership at Rowan this week (if I can my ass off the couch that is). Not sure where to go from there though. Any suggestions?