Showing posts with label Alan Rickman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alan Rickman. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Reasons to Read Harry Potter

  1. A coming of age story of a boy with a wand
  2. Alan Rickman plays Snape (I may be gay, but that man has one sexy voice).
  3. Muggles and squibs
  4. Quidditch
  5. Hagrid, the lovable half-giant with a giant heart for all things living
  6. You will have the urge to unleash a boggart in someone's office, some pixies in the cafeteria, and have a pet owl or phoenix
  7. Riding a hippogriff to work would be an amazing form of transportation
  8. Goblins should run all banks (as long as they have dragons and booby-traps to protect the money in the vaults)
  9. No sparkling vampires
  10. It may be considered a "children's book", however there are many adult elements such as politics, deception, genocide, discrimination
  11. Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi - wouldn't you love to know what it means?
  12. Don't you want to know why Voldemort has no nose?
  13. Death Eaters
  14. The Dark Mark
  15. Norberta the Norwegian Ridgeback dragon
  16. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
  17. What would your patronus be?
  18. A doe, a deer, a female deer
  19. Whomping Willow
  20. Garden gnomes are real
  21. House cup and prefects
  22. Laughter and tears
  23. Wizard chess
  24. Draco Dormiens Numquam Titilandus
  25. House elves
  26. Cats are more than meets the eye
  27. Animagus
  28. Rename your recycle bin on your computer "Azkaban" and then throw something away, only after reading Harry Potter will you realize why this is so funny
  29. Who is Tom Marvolo Riddle/
  30. Parseltongue
  31. Who was the Potter's secret keeper? For that matter...what is a secret keeper?
  32. Ordinary Wizarding Levels
  33. Chocolate is medicinal
  34. Dragon blood is an effective oven cleaner
  35. Platform 9 3/4
  36. Polyjuice Potion
  37. Avada Kedavra
  38. Moaning Myrtle
  39. Chamber of Secrets
  40. Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore
  41. I am determined to name one of my children Snape (Rachel doesn't know this yet)
  42. Pictures and paintings move
  43. Who doesn't love a good mystery?
  44. All of the books are connected in some way (besides Harry Potter). There may be a meaningless item in a book that becomes pivotal later
  45. Bones can regrow
  46. All you can eat buffet that magically appears on your gold plate
  47. Bellatrix Lestrange
  48. Room of Requirement
  49. It's been put on the list of banned books and who doesn't want to defy that list?
  50. Using magic for household chores
  51. Luggage is magically transported
  52. Mail is delivered by owls
  53. Howlers
  54. Apparating
  55. Ministry of Magic
  56. Broomsticks are a valid form of transportation
  57. The success of alchemy
  58. Ties in actual people with complete fiction (Nicholas Flammel)
  59. Dragons are real, and there are many different types of dragons
  60. A lovable dog named Fang
  61. The Malfoys
  62. Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin
  63. Godric's Hollow
  64. The Deathly Hallows

Monday, December 20, 2010

Seven Christmas Villains

Ebenezer Scrooge
If there was to be a number one Christmas villain it has to be Ebenezer Scrooge. The Scrooge archetype is essentially what every other Christmas villain strives to become. Charles Dickens creation was first published in 1843. Since that publication the story has never been out of print and has spawned at least 22 official stage variations, 2 operas, 4 recordings, 10 radio broadcasts, 49 television show adaptations, and 20 film versions. Among notable actors who have take on the mantle of playing Scrooge have been Kelsey Grammar, Albert Finney, George C. Scott, Patrick Stewart, Reginald Owen, Alastari Sim, Jim Carrey, Bill Murray, and let's not forget Mr. Magoo.

Most Heinous Villainy: Wishing there were more poor houses and orphanages.

The Grinch
Popular children's author Dr. Seuss first brought the Grinch to life in his 1957 book, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." The story had all the Suessical elements of the Whos living in Whoville, but it was the Grinch's story. It's also a perfect example of a Christmas villain finding redemption. For the 1966 cartoon adaptation, famed horror actor Boris Karloff was hired to narrate and provide the voice for the Grinch. At first, Dr. Suess objects to Boris because he thought his voice might scare the kids too much. Thankfully, he was overrled and a classic Christmas villain was brought to life. And we got a new word for a grouchy and stingy type of person.

Most Heinous Villainy: Stealing all the Whos' toys and decorations.

Marv and Harry
Back in 1990, the brat pack's favorite director John Hughes crafted a simple story about a little boy accidently left behind for the holidays while two inept burglars attempted to rob the house. The rest is film history. "Home Alone" went on to gross $533 million, making it the number one comedy film of all time. Marv and Harry were played by Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci. For the filming, Joe Pesci had to be constantly reminded this was a family film and he couldn't drop the F bombs like he was used to. Director Chris Columbus got him to say "fridge" instead. When it came time for Daniel Stern to have a tarantula crawl on his face, he agreed to do it just once. He had to pretend to scream otherwise he would have scared the spider.

Most Heinous Villainy: After robbing houses, Marv would flood them.

Gremlins
Don't shine a bright light on them, don't get them wet, and whatever you do, don't feed them after midnight. Those were three simple rules to follow to make sure this one of a kind Christmas present wouldn't go all wonky. Of course we know what happened in Gremlins. Gizmo got wet and the Mogwai Stripe was born who begat hundreds of other evil gremlins that wrecked havoc on Christmas night. In the first draft of the script, mean gremlin Stripe was actually supposed to be the Mr. Hyde to Gizmo's Dr. Jekyll. Luckily, executive producer Stephen Spielberg nixed that idea. If you look closely, the small town in this film was the same small town used in Back to the Future. In fact the movie theater that went up in a fireball at the end of Gremlins is the same one Marty McFly crashed into in his first adventure.

Most Heinous Villainy: Sending an old lady shooting out of her home on her electric stair chair.

Heat and Snow Miser
Following up the success of Santa Claus is Coming to Town the stop motion elves at Rankin and Bass delivered The Year Without Santa Claus and introduced us to two nasty brothers by the name of the Heat Miser and Snow Miser voiced by George Irving and Dick Shawn respectively. The Misers were the epitome of sibling rivalry and it was only through the intervention of their mom Mother Nature, that Santa was able to get back to business.

Most Heinous Villainy: Using their weather powers for evil instead of good.

Burgermeister Meisterburger
This grumpy Gus made his appearance in the animated classic Santa Claus is Coming to Town. As part of Santa's supposed back-story, the Burgermeister was the mayor of the small village where Kris Kringle first passed out his toys. When the Burgermeister tripped on errant toy duck he banned toys. Even a brief flirtation with a yo-yo wasn't enough to convince him to change his ways. By making Kris an outlaw he forced Santa to go down chimneys. See how important Christmas villains are? The Burgermeister was given life by venerable cartoon voice artist Paul Frees who also provided the voice for the other cartoon villain Boris Badenov.

Most Heinous Villainy: Making Santa a Most Wanted Criminal

Hans Gruber
As long as there have been movies there have been movie bad guys, but on baddie stands alone: Hans Fruber from Die Hard. He counts as a Christmas villain because Hans and his crew picked an office Christmas party to raid. Unfortunately for them, John McClane was on the guest list. What happened next became the standard by which every subsequent action film would be judged. Making his feature film debut in the role of Hans was Alan Rickman. His reputation for playing a Hollywood heavy landed him several more roles right up to Professor Snape in the Harry Potter franchise. For the scene when Hans was supposed to take a death tumble from the tower, Rickman was actually dropped 21 feet to an airbag. To get the right reaction, he was let go on 2 instead of 3.

Most Heinous Villainy: Killing Mr. Takagi in cold blood

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Alex Trebek

For about seven years I worked at Stop and Shop as a cashier/grocery clerk/cart girl. It was the easiest job in the world. As a cashier, I would usually bring something to read with me since the store was doing horribly and had barely any customers. When I later switched to grocery and carts, I would have even more time to read magazines since I hid most of the night in the back of the store, generally staying off the radar of the managers. For some odd reason, I was always fascinated by the Sexiest Men of the Year list that People would publish every few months. I still find it amusing that People publish a Sexiest Men of the Year list more than once in a single year.

While I was aimlessly playing on the worldwide interwebs this morning, This week, People published it's Special Double Issue of the Sexiest Man Alive with Ryan Reynolds on the cover. In response, I found an extremely amusing article called The Smart Girl's Guide To The Sexiest Men. The following is a list of the men found on the  list:

1. John Slattery aka Roger Sterling
2. Ben Bailey
3. Harry Shum Jr.
4. Stephen Colbert
5. Paul Rudd
6. Donald Glover
7. Alton Brown
8. Anthony Bourdain
9. Brian Williams
10. Richard Armitage
11. Bill Hader
12. James Franco
13. Jeff Goldblum
14. Jesse Eisenberg
15. Joseph Gordon Levitt
16. MGMT
17. Stanley Tucci
18. Sanjay Gupta
19. The Mighty Boosh
20. Tom Colicchio
21. Alex Trebek
22. Michael Caine
23. Dr. Drew Pinsky
24. Kunal Nayyar
25. Alan Rickman
26. Matthew MacFadyen
27. Lester Holt
28. Jay Baruchel
29. Jake Gyllenhaal

Of course, I decide to scroll the list out of curiosity. My initial reaction, was Who the Fuck are half these people? To make her point, the author included photos of everyone on the list, which made my head even more confused since I didn't recognize about 90% of the people on the list. I was about to exit out of the article, until I scrolled to #21 on the list: Alex Trebek. Not only did the Jeopardy host make the list, he appeared shirtless! 

Don't believe me?!


If you don't find the above picture a little disturbing, then do you find this disturbing: